It is often said that getting good band score in IELTS writing exam is difficult, especially in IELTS writing task 2. Let us check and analyse a task response to find out what are its strengths and weaknesses, and whether it can be marked as Band 7 response.
Below is the IELTS writing task 2 response submitted by a student who attempted the following question. Let us analyse it and predict the band score.
Some people believe that teaching the children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is essential for the children to go to school.
Discuss both the views and then give your own opinion.
There is a common belief that, children can be taught effectively at home, which paves the way for personality development and overall well being. Whereas, some others are in the opinion that sending them to school will serve the purpose.
To begin with, the schools act as a beacon spreading the light of knowledge to the kids, which will be reflected in all walks of their lifes. Furthermore, schools play a vital role in moulding the character and personality. The children will get an opportunity to interact with kids of various strata of the society, which will kindle a harmony in the minds of younger generation. Likewise, they will learn the sweetness of team spirit as well as collective thinking. Emotional stability and maturity are formed in through interacting with friends and teachers. For example, recent surveys suggest that the kids who gained education from schools have a higher intelligence as well as emotional quotients.
On the other hand, learning from the home has many advantages. In this modern era both parents are working and they will find quality time in educating their wards. Eventhough, there is no specific curriculum or teaching module to impact education, The idea of adjustment, flexibility, time management and adapting to crisis all will be learned effective from the home. Moreover, it is generally said that a comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there, in the same way. Parents knows the comfort zones of their kid’s and find ways to get rid of them. Parents are the best teachers for kids and their pragmatic advice will be ever remembered by them. For instance, an article published in the national daily, The Hindu, reveals the success story of a boy name ‘Raghav’ who passed out in higher secondary exams in flying colours and he suggests that the parents were the real success behind his achievements and studying from home saved his time and enabled to hit the bull’s eye.
To conclude, eventhough learning from home as well as schools have many positive effects, In my perception, the schools serve as a better play ground in imbibing the knowledge, character moulding and overall development of an individual.
Writing Task 2 Analysis
Paraphrasing is correctly written and synonyms are used
b. Corrected erroneous phrases:
……common belief that children………..
…..and overall well being, whereas some others…….
Body Paragraph 1
Use of connectors, relevant ideas with examples, but stress is on writing more ideas and hence some lack proper explanation along with examples
b. Corrected erroneous phrases:
- Plural word: ……..act as beacons, all walks of their lives
- Idiom: “all walks of their lives” can be replaced with “different stages of their lives”.
- Article (a): ……kindle harmony, …….have higher intelligence
- Word missing: ……..kids who gained education
Body Paragraph 2
Sentence connectors are used, first idea is general but all others are explained well along with examples, vocabulary knowledge is good and idioms are used
b. Corrected errorneous phrases:
- Article (the): ……learning from home
- In this modern era,
- …..crisis, all will be…..
- …..grows there, in the same way, parents….
- …..zones of their Kids….
- ….and they find quality time….
- He suggested…….
- Boy named……….
- Spacing: Even though
- Plural: The ideas of….
- Subject verb agreement: Parents know the comfort…..
- Word missing: ……remembered by them.
- Preposition: ……With flying colours…
Sentence connector is used, personal opinion is given and opinion is clear
b. Corrected Errorneous Phrases:
- Spacing: Even though…..
- Capitalization: ……positive effects, in my perception,……..
Expected Band Score: 6.5 Band
Remarks: Overall clarity and explanation of relevant ideas are there but it has some errors related to capitalization, punctuation, grammar, tense, article, singular-plural word, and missing words. More ideas are written in paragraph 1 which are not all explained and supported well, however, usage of sentence connectors and vocabulary is good and opinion is clear.